It was 1965
Before Roe v Wade
You had no choice
and
I wonder
if you had a choice
would you have chosen a different life
followed another path
I will never know
I don’t even know
what you believed
if you could have chosen
Would you have chosen me?

Over time
the mother wound changes
no longer do you wonder if anyone saw it
if they noticed the chasm
the awkwardness
the disconnect
the silence
the ghost of a child
always near
never included
did it really matter
then one day
you receive validation –

a conversation with an old family friend
and the words 

“we thought you were adopted”

Did you have dreams?
Aspirations?
You never mentioned any
You never asked me if I had any dreams
It made me believe that
dreams were foolish
So I had them
And I hid them
Never telling anyone
because I was ashamed of them
embarrassed to have dreams
How silly is that?
But it is what happens
when no one around you
dreams