Have you seen Naked & Healing?

Landscape of my childhood

​​The landscape of my childhood is gone
Obliterated
Flattened
Demolished

The place where I was born high on the hill is a grassy field
Amongst the rich houses
Once added and scabbed onto wandering like a funhouse maze
Gone

The place where I got my first ice cream cone
A pile of rubble, trucked away filled in with dirt
Across from the Train Depot
Next to a park where children before my time played
Covered over in my time with a gas station
Now gone

The place where I learned the alphabet, made my first friends, learned about the world
With its round kindergarten room, with the fireplace for looks and story time
My first community
My first world
Gone but the handful of bricks I salvaged
Tucked away
Given to close friends who went there too

The place where I fell in love with science and reading and learned I had value
I learned I was smart and witty and would be someone someday
The fence is around it
They are preparing to tumble down the almost 100 year old bricks, granite, slate
That cradled and raised me and many others
There will be a green field here too eventually

And the landscape where I grew up is now flat
 The buildings that were my history are gone
They live in my memory with the people I met and loved
I must visit them there sometimes
It reminds me that I came from someplace and grew

Hope, Belief, Faith, Trust

Somewhere in the snow
I left the pieces of me
that were struggling to survive
hope, belief, faith, trust
Each one broke off
like frozen icicles
Falling jagged into the snow
Leaving four pierced places
The corners of a square
Boundaries to outline
what was left in my soul
Nothing

Each mistake was a choice

The snow gave me clarity
Deep, white, cold
I lay there
And I see each of them
Three relationships
Three lives
I chased each of them
Each mistake was a choice
The cold numbs my regret, sadness
Everything
And I know
I would repeat each choice
There is no peace in some lives
We repeat rather than learn
So I will lay in the snow
And have it hold me
til everything goes away