Peace
Put your hand there
low on my belly
do you feel it?
the softness
the calm
no butterflies
no tension
nothing
but calm and peace
thank you for giving me that
Anxiety and trauma
I never know
why the memories come
but they do
once in awhile
and they are so vivid
I can see his face
the brown green of his eyes
and I can’t shake them
and then as I blink
I can see my baby’s eyes
warm and brown
adoring and trusting
and I can’t shake that either
and anxiety
builds
and I reach for the bottle
just one pill will settle it down
I hope
and if one doesn’t
I will take another
and another
Being honest about life
I have started being honest
about life
and putting lids on the boxes
of possibility
accepting them with lids
closed and sealed
because I see where the journey
has taken me
not far from where I began
and the adventures
I may have still tickled and teased
need to be put away
and instead
I settle down into a chair
and pull out a book
about Cuba
or England
or Ukraine
or Europe
or anywhere
not here
and I journey through
the lines and the words
as close as I can come
to the places and the people
I imagined